tourmalily (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tourmalily) wrote2017-05-26 09:33 pm
tourmalily) wrote2017-05-26 09:33 pm
Quickening
Today I felt the baby move. It happened early this morning. I've been so tired and stressed out this week - work has been an absolute nightmare, and I've been working 12 hour days all week. There have been problems with both the ICP and the ICP/MS. Instrument problems are the worst because it's not your fault but yet you're responsible for everything AND worse still, hours of your hard work and effort are basically rendered a total fucking waste of time. I spent a lot of time crying this week because I was so frustrated. It was just so stressful.
Today was no better - I came in to discover the ICP fucking failed in the middle of the overnight run. By some fucking miracle, only the last batch on the sequence was ruined. I was able to salvage probably 80% of the run, and the data was good. But I didn't know that yet. I was just sitting at my desk trying to work out HOW behind we were going to be, and what I could reasonably accomplish today. Then suddenly, I felt what I can only describe as a blip in my stomach. It wasn't painful but it startled me. It was like a muscle tic or spasm inside my stomach. Then it happened two more times, and I realized that it wasn't actually me, which was a crazy realization to make. The tiny passenger I'm carrying around is getting big enough to make their presence known. So at first I was smiling and then my eyes started tearing up and then I was just a big sobbing mess lol. Denise and Linda, who work in wet chem right next to metals, asked me if everything was OK (I mean, this week has SUUUUUCKED and I did cry a lot) and I was like oh, no, I'm fine, I just felt the baby kick.
Highlight of my day. All the misery and the unhappiness of being pregnant was worth it for that one moment.
Today was no better - I came in to discover the ICP fucking failed in the middle of the overnight run. By some fucking miracle, only the last batch on the sequence was ruined. I was able to salvage probably 80% of the run, and the data was good. But I didn't know that yet. I was just sitting at my desk trying to work out HOW behind we were going to be, and what I could reasonably accomplish today. Then suddenly, I felt what I can only describe as a blip in my stomach. It wasn't painful but it startled me. It was like a muscle tic or spasm inside my stomach. Then it happened two more times, and I realized that it wasn't actually me, which was a crazy realization to make. The tiny passenger I'm carrying around is getting big enough to make their presence known. So at first I was smiling and then my eyes started tearing up and then I was just a big sobbing mess lol. Denise and Linda, who work in wet chem right next to metals, asked me if everything was OK (I mean, this week has SUUUUUCKED and I did cry a lot) and I was like oh, no, I'm fine, I just felt the baby kick.
Highlight of my day. All the misery and the unhappiness of being pregnant was worth it for that one moment.